Brindleboy123's Blog

11th June 2010…..Remembering Dad

Posted on: June 11, 2010

Dad with me at a family "do"....a cuddle and a smile, a rare but treasured moment

Just wanted to write a little something today as it is now 3 years since my Dad passed away. I really don’t know where the time has gone.  It was such a terrible shock when he passed away as we had only been told on the Thursday that Dad had inoperable cancer. He had his first course of radiotherapy on the Friday in an attempt to reduce the tumour so he could walk and he died on the following Monday. Fortunately, I had been able to see him on the Saturday when he was really cheerful and chatty.  We managed to get Mum in the hospital to see him on the Sunday as she hadn’t been in for the 3 weeks he was there as it was so difficult  for her.  They spent a couple of hours chatting and laughing and there was no inclination that Dad would pass so soon.

We received a phone call on the Monday morning to say that dad had “taken a turn for the worse”…..that is a sentence that so many of us have been told I’m sure over the years about our loved ones and something that none of us want to hear.

The day Dad passed away Mum and I had a terrible row…crazy isn’t it.  We were all in the front room and I had spoken with Tony on the phone and he had told me that he would come straight over to the UK to be with me.  Mum had decided that it was Tony’s fault that I had not stayed longer on my last visit and despite the fact that they had spoken every night for hours on end for years, she didn’t want him to come.  I became hysterical and dear old Uncle Bill and Miss Daisey had to come up to try to calm things down.  I’ve never felt so lonely in my life as that day.  Tony did come over but went home on the next plane when it was obvious he was not welcome.

My sister decided to give me hell to add to it over the next week while we waited for the funeral.  She wanted to go on holiday in a few weeks after the funeral and I was unable to look after Mum at the time because of work (it was the holiday period and the only time that Tony and I were able to make any money cleaning for the year). I was punched and kicked which is ridiculous when you think I was 49 at the time and went home with bruises!  To add to it all, my sister then invited my ex husband to the funeral and asked him to carry Dad’s coffin into the church and ride in the car.  You can imagine not only how I felt, but also Tony who was at that time back in Spain.

I actually went to the cemetary on the day dad passed away and fell asleep on my Nan’s grave! Typically, no-one had noticed me and they had locked the gates so I actually had to climb over the wall!  The funny thing was nobody had even noticed I hadn’t been there for hours when I got home……!!

All seems like a lifetime away now and I am happy that now when I think of my Dad I only remember good things about him…..happy times are difficult to dig out from my childhood but I just remember the smile that he had, although not very often as he was, to be honest a grumpy old so and so!

Love and Miss You Dad very much.  God Bless, Michele X

PS  Don’t let Mum give you too much grief! XX

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