Brindleboy123's Blog

What a day!

Posted on: April 21, 2010

Evening…. to be honest I´m glad that the day is nearly over! Had physio this morning and had the helper from hell, who managed to burn my back came out of there covered in cream to calm the skin down.  I thought at that point that the only way was up…how wrong can someone be!

Tony and I had been thinking about my daughter and her husband and how hard they had been working etc. etc and thought it would be nice to take them away for two weeks to Florida.  It was really to be a sort of gift from Miss Daisey too.  Anyway, spent much of the day looking around for prices etc and managed to get something which was very reasonably priced but good quality too.  Many months ago I had mentioned the possibility to her but we hadn´t set any dates or anything.  ´ rang her at work to let her know what we were looking at, to be honest because we were both so excited at the idea too.  This evening when I spoke with her to check whether it was ok before I booked anything with regard to dates etc, all hell let loose.  She was in tears because she had spoken to her Dad who had made it perfectly clear to her that he was not happy about her going on holiday with Tony and myself!  She is 30 years old this year, married with her own home and trying for a child.  To cut a long and extremely sad story short, the holiday is off and I tried to explain to her that there will come a time in life when she will need to stand up for herself and do what she wants and not try to please other people.  I can never ask her again, the same thing would happen and I wouldn´t put her through that.  I´m broken hearted.  Its not the holiday, its also that in reality there will come a time, god willing, that she will have a child – how will we ever be able to have a relationship with any future children, it is always going to be on my ex´s terms unless she stands up to her father.  She says I was making her choose.  I´m not. I don´t care now about the holiday, I just want her to stand up for what she wants in life and not be downtrodden by other people.  I spent many years on reflection where I allowed myself to be controlled, either my ex husband or my mother and I know it isn´t easy to get out of that cycle but you have to or you just lose yourself along the way. I pray to god that I am here to see the day when she is able to hold her head up and do what she wants in life (even if that is telling me whats for), I need her to be strong. If perhaps one day you  read my blog Samantha, I love you with all my heart and would never do anything to hurt you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_EOTzqZS524

Along the way today in looking for the holiday I also inadvertantly probably upset friends who were coming over when we were looking at going away!  It completely slipped my mind – at least they will be ok now and we will get to spend time together. 

There´s nothing left for it but to turn to chocolate….only got cooking chocolate left so I suppose that is going to have to do, its a little hard as its been in the fridge for ages but I´ll give it a go….you wait and see, I will be typing between gappy teeth tomorrow!

Night folks, keep smiling.  Bell x

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4 Responses to "What a day!"

Oh Bell, How sad – that after all this time he can, and would want to, exert such pressue on his daughter; it’s downright cruel. I can see why he would want to upset you (but I don’t like or condone his actions) but to deliberately upset his own child is beyond my comprehension – that’s not the love of a Father for his daughter.

I hope, with you, that in time she can see how he is manipulating her to get at you and that she has the strength of character to stand up to him.

Be strong Bell and watch your teeth on that chocolate – you don’t want to have to visit the dentist as well !

Susie, I can´t begin to tell you how upset I am about it all. It feels that Tony and I cannot have the relationship with my daughter and son-in-law that we both wanted. I don´t know why my ex is like this, I have never spoken badly of him as a father and I never would but he seems to wants to punish me and the two girls are his method of choice. No-one can do anything about it really though other than my daughter, as people always say, “you can´t change people, you can only change the way you react to them”. It looks as though he has achieved his aim and will probably continue to do so for the forseeable future. How can a father be so cruel? Thank you for caring Susie. x

I can see myself in your daughter Bell, I should really stand up to people especially my Mother but I am too scared to x

Jane, its hard and the sad thing is my daughter is me many years ago. It took me a long time to realise what influence my ex husband had on me and I eventually left the relationship but probably ´til the day my mother, even though she was in a bed 24/7 and totally dependent upon others, still had a hold on me that I will never realise or understand why. Be strong x

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